Saturday morning was Art on the Avenue with my mom and sister. it's honestly one of my favorite days of the year, so much cool art to look at, amazing food to taste, awesome shops to explore, and everyone looks so happy. it was a nice day for it, not too hot! I got some free incense from Balancing Soul which is the main thing I was hoping to get from the trip. I will definitely be going back when I run out, it was really nice in there and a lot of the stuff was reasonably priced, especially for fair trade and all that. I also had an amazing grilled cheese!
Afterward Kera and I went to Sally Beauty for dye and 5 Below because I wanted nail polish. Kera had never been there but thoroughly enjoyed it so I'm glad I could introduce her to the world or really cheep junk you don't need but can't help buying. I got hot pink, periwinkle, and gold sparkles for $5. she also got nail polish and a few other things.
Then we headed home where I dyed my hair and painted Kera's nails.
I was just about to relax, since that is a lot for me these days, when my dad asked if I wanted to go with him to walmart. I don't spend much time with him plus we were home alone at this point and I had wanted white nailpolish too so I agreed. it was supposed to be a short trip but my dad is indecisive and we ended up wandering the store for another 1.5hrs debating on what to get for the fireworks picnic.
on the way home Dan asked if I wanted to come watch him kick around, and of course I did because I love being outside, plus I get to watch him run around all sweaty. when I feel up to it I've even started kicking around with him believe it or not... Saturday was not one of those days however. After a little while he took me home so we could both get ready for mini golf at Schell's and milkshakes after <3
Today was a picnic at my brother in law's dad's house. I love going there! It's so much fun and his family is great. The food was delicious, almost as much so as the drinks! I don't even like sausage but he made chicken feta sausage that I really enjoyed. I won't lie and say a large part of my fun wasn't watching the chickens and ducks they have.
however when we left I was definitely ready to head home. the long weekend had taken it's toll on me, I was feeling quite lethargic and my lungs were just starting to hurt. by the time we got home the pain had worsened so I took a nap. didn't help and I eventually took a perc which I hate doing because they make me dizzy and often nauseous but they usually really help the pain. this time it hasn't helped that much and I still feel quite tight and hurty but at least my breathing has loosened up a bit so I'm not so afraid of a hospital trip anymore. if it's not better in a few hours I'll try half of one of my muscle relaxers to get my chest to stop clenching up.
I've been so crafty/artistic lately. I'm proud for finally getting back into it! I've been sewing every chance I get, drawing a bit, painting, and today I made my dad's card with oil pastels which I haven't used in years! it actually turned out really neat and I forgot how much I love them.
I'm really happy lately but I sometimes feel like a broken toy since the coma... I can't do a lot of the things I'd like to or "should" do and it really gets me down sometimes. I know I don't show it often but I do get depressed and I'm not always smiling. I want to run and get in better shape but I can only walk... I know if I'm patient and I keep at it I can hopefully get my lungs strong enough to handle short runs, but it's going to take a lot more work and I have to be careful not to push myself too hard. I've avoided quite a few of my friends because they smoke and with how sensitive my lungs have been I don't want to put any extra stress on them. I want to roller skate but my lungs have just been too weak to get enough out of paying to skate so Dan and I have only been able to skate at night in parking lots. I know I should have a job but so many jobs I can't do now and those that I might be able to do won't hire me knowing I might need to take a few days a month off when they can have someone who doesn't...
I try really hard not to feel sorry for myself, and generally I don't. I'm more angry. I get frustrated that can't do these things. I feel bad for the people around me that I wish I could do these things with. but I'm trying, and that's what matters. I'm lucky to be surrounded by such supportive and understanding people.
<3
