a look back on 2014

2014 started out... good?
I mean my new years eve last year was a mixed bag. I watched the fireworks at the fire tower with Dan and it was awesome. when we got back to his house his Dad was super nice to me and had a glass of champagne (the REAL stuff) already poured for me... but then, as usual, we fought.

more fights followed, he told me not to hangout with Jared alone (one of my best friends at the time who was always there for me, even almost picked me up at Dan's house at 3am one time after a fight). I was super depressed and barely left the house except to go to Dan's house where I was more miserable. Superbowl Sunday I was feeling pretty down so Jared asked me if I wanted to go with him to get snacks. it seems like a small thing, but it stands out in my mind a lot. even just walking around a super market I had more fun with him than I had had with Dan in a long time... while we were there Brandi (who also knew I was down) asked if I wanted to come over and invited Jared too. neither of us really expected him to come, but he did.

the following months go worse, I found out a huge secret Dan had been hiding from me and struggled with what to do after many fights. I broke up with him and he tried to win me back again. it almost worked until I took a step back and looked at things realistically. he was never going to change, and the few changes I saw were only to win me back... plus when I was honest with myself I had never stopped thinking about Jared since we kissed in summer of 13. Dan even tried saying he might take me to a concert he knew I'd want to see... he was disappointed when I informed him Jared was getting tickets to it for us already.

after I healed, figured out the lessons that I had to learn from another broken relationship, and moved on, I started to flirt more with Jared. I was so afraid I had missed my chance back in the summer of 13... to back track, Dan and I had broken up in late May. at a party in early July Jared and I were flirting and we kissed. a friend saw and made a big deal out of it so I was embarrassed and that was the end of that for the night. after a lot of thought we had a serious talk, one of the hardest talks of my life, and I decided I couldn't go farther with Jared. Dan was laying on the guilt thick, Jared was so young (just turning 21) and I was scared. I told Jared we would just be friends.... we didn't talk for a few months because he was really hurt, and I didn't want to push him so I waited and hoped he'd want to be friends eventually. obviously he did.

anyway, early May I started flirting with Jared. he didn't flirt back too much so when Tyler came home I dug for information. he liked me still, but didn't want to get hurt again.

I started to feel really sick all the time, like I might puke at any moment... who knew true love could do that? haha but seriously, any time I was near him I had a bag near me just in case. I never did puke but it made for a miserable few weeks.

we went to the concert while I was still feeling queezy, but it was amazing anyway. I got to see third eye blind again, plus the kongos, foster the people, bastille... we held hands at the concert and he even did the yawn/[ut his arm around me move. 

after the concert he was still hesitant, so one night I told him I'd wait since he waited all this time for me. I told he that I wasn't going anywhere, I just wanted to be with him. I believe the next night we finally kissed again and shortly after we were together :)

he's been wonderful. he takes me out once a week, even if taco bell is all we can afford. we've gone to a few hockey games, a wrestling event where I got close enough to touch one of my favorite wrestlers. he supports everything I do, never makes me guilty for what I can't handle. he's patient and is extra understanding when I PMS... not once has he told me I'm exaggerating or that I need to control it. I am finally happy.

so there is my love life... as for everything else:

1. I started Kenhorst Cats, which is my pride and joy. I've probably raixsed around $1000 in donations

2. we've spayed 4 cats so far and found homes for 14 cats.

3. I nursed Honey and Nugget back to health more than a few times, both have severe tummy troubles. 

4. I've lost 25lbs (give or take a lbs depending on the day). I did this through volleyball over the summer and honestly I think healthy happy relationships help me maintain a healthy weight.

5. I figured out a lot when it comes to my friends.... some good, some bad.

6. I kept my room mostly clean for most of the year, this one I'm very proud of... it's sort of been a reflection of my life. it's been less cluttered and stressful.

7. Kera and I have been trying to keep up with the blog... but it's hard haha. with some more organization I think 2015 will be a better year for it.

8. I worked a lot on my self confidence. I may not have a "job" but I opened my own freaking cat shelter. that's pretty awesome. I may not be a super model, but I worked hard and lost my extra weight and I think I look good.

9. I stopped shaving my pits. I have all sorts of pit problems and I think they might all be related to shaving.... so I'm done (even more credit to Jared for supporting me on this).

10. I built cat shelves for Honey which was the first thing I've built in  a long time

so 2014 was pretty good year for me.... no where near perfect, but it's all in how you look at it. I'm looking forward to 2015 too :)

Sea Sponge Tampons and Beauty Regimens

So, I'm still in love with my sea sponges (at my local pet store I paid almost $3 each and got 3.... but they last 6 months or so I've read... so not a bad deal). I still prefer to free bleed as much as possible, but it's super nice to have a back up for heavy days that I know doesn't have all sorts of chemicals and such...

anyway, I read an article about why women hate showering. I was pretty excited because I absolutely hate showering with the exception of back aches or cramps, in which case the hot water and massaging shower head are nice. However none of these reasons are why I hate showering except the last... lets go over them shall we?

1. Washing your hair.
 now... this one IS one of the things I hate, not for the same reasons. I hate washing my hair because it takes forever and it's super thick and it's just going to be greasy the next day so it feels like a waste. sometimes I don't bother... sometimes I'll just throw it back on toss some baby powder in my roots and brush. good enough lol
and as for thick hair being lucky about grease? are you kidding me!? my hair looks greasy the next day too... maybe I went right over the optimal thickness into the too thick category?

2. Shaving
yeah... my issues with this one is , if you hate shaving so much why do it? right now it's winter, my legs haven't seen a razor in two months and I have a steady boyfriend. if a guy can't deal with your hairy legs at least in the winter he doesn't deserve you. I also recently decided I'm no longer shaving my pits, and it's been the most freeing decision ever. I tried dying them the other week but my dye didn't stick so it ended up cotton candy pink that faded to fleshy pink.... I'll be trying again with a better brand lol

3. Pricey hair products
no.... just no. I rarely put anything in my hair. when I do it's either coconut oil or my leave in conditioner spray I made but putting a few squirts of conditioner in a spray bottle and filling the rest with water. you won't need alll that stuff if you stop frying your hair daily!

4. After shower process
I'm sorry, but I can shower and put my makeup on in 10mins... 13 if it's summer and I have to shave my legs. 5mins if I'm not wearing makeup that day.

5. cold.
yes. but that's for anyone not just ladies ;)

Sea Sponge Tampons

My insurance company is refusing to cover the only type of birth control I can take, telling me I can take another one that I can't take.... so I've been experiencing my full force shark week again... which is awful. Even on the patch I have a heavy flow that last 5-6 days, I still get the occasional ovarian cyst and migraine... off everything I have endometriosis, ovarian cysts (which I'm beginning to think of PCOS), and 7+ days of heavy flow, migraines daily, horrible mood swings, and steady cramps starting a day or two before and only ending when the bleeding stops.

Since my flow is muuuuch heavier than my on the patch still heavy flow, I need something beyond my usual choice of free bleeding.

I had such hope for the cup, but it hurts me.... you see I have a tilted uterus, and no one bothers to tell you they don't work too well if you have a tilted uterus. I guess it should be assumed because how could a cup comfortably fit over your cervix if it's sitting sideways? well I'm not a doctor so I didn't think of that.

Recently I had heard about sea sponge tampons and decided to check them out... if you know anything about me it should be how frugal I am. those things are expensive! so instead I marched myself into my local pet store and grabbed a few natural sea sponges for hermit crab water. I soaked them in vinegar for a while and rinsed them thoroughly and bravely inserted not knowing if it would even work...

well it did. I am in love. I can't feel it, I've had no leaks despite the fact that I think I'm actually hemorrhaging... my only issue is if you don't ring it out really well first, when you sneeze or cough a few drops of the water you left in drip out and make you feel like you peed yourself... so next time I inserted I squeezed more water out and haven't had that problem since :)  

I've only used it for one day, so I'll update again in a few days, but so far I think I've found my solution for when I can't free bleed!