2014 started out... good?
I mean my new years eve last year was a mixed bag. I watched the fireworks at the fire tower with Dan and it was awesome. when we got back to his house his Dad was super nice to me and had a glass of champagne (the REAL stuff) already poured for me... but then, as usual, we fought.
more fights followed, he told me not to hangout with Jared alone (one of my best friends at the time who was always there for me, even almost picked me up at Dan's house at 3am one time after a fight). I was super depressed and barely left the house except to go to Dan's house where I was more miserable. Superbowl Sunday I was feeling pretty down so Jared asked me if I wanted to go with him to get snacks. it seems like a small thing, but it stands out in my mind a lot. even just walking around a super market I had more fun with him than I had had with Dan in a long time... while we were there Brandi (who also knew I was down) asked if I wanted to come over and invited Jared too. neither of us really expected him to come, but he did.
the following months go worse, I found out a huge secret Dan had been hiding from me and struggled with what to do after many fights. I broke up with him and he tried to win me back again. it almost worked until I took a step back and looked at things realistically. he was never going to change, and the few changes I saw were only to win me back... plus when I was honest with myself I had never stopped thinking about Jared since we kissed in summer of 13. Dan even tried saying he might take me to a concert he knew I'd want to see... he was disappointed when I informed him Jared was getting tickets to it for us already.
after I healed, figured out the lessons that I had to learn from another broken relationship, and moved on, I started to flirt more with Jared. I was so afraid I had missed my chance back in the summer of 13... to back track, Dan and I had broken up in late May. at a party in early July Jared and I were flirting and we kissed. a friend saw and made a big deal out of it so I was embarrassed and that was the end of that for the night. after a lot of thought we had a serious talk, one of the hardest talks of my life, and I decided I couldn't go farther with Jared. Dan was laying on the guilt thick, Jared was so young (just turning 21) and I was scared. I told Jared we would just be friends.... we didn't talk for a few months because he was really hurt, and I didn't want to push him so I waited and hoped he'd want to be friends eventually. obviously he did.
anyway, early May I started flirting with Jared. he didn't flirt back too much so when Tyler came home I dug for information. he liked me still, but didn't want to get hurt again.
I started to feel really sick all the time, like I might puke at any moment... who knew true love could do that? haha but seriously, any time I was near him I had a bag near me just in case. I never did puke but it made for a miserable few weeks.
we went to the concert while I was still feeling queezy, but it was amazing anyway. I got to see third eye blind again, plus the kongos, foster the people, bastille... we held hands at the concert and he even did the yawn/[ut his arm around me move.
after the concert he was still hesitant, so one night I told him I'd wait since he waited all this time for me. I told he that I wasn't going anywhere, I just wanted to be with him. I believe the next night we finally kissed again and shortly after we were together :)
he's been wonderful. he takes me out once a week, even if taco bell is all we can afford. we've gone to a few hockey games, a wrestling event where I got close enough to touch one of my favorite wrestlers. he supports everything I do, never makes me guilty for what I can't handle. he's patient and is extra understanding when I PMS... not once has he told me I'm exaggerating or that I need to control it. I am finally happy.
so there is my love life... as for everything else:
1. I started Kenhorst Cats, which is my pride and joy. I've probably raixsed around $1000 in donations
2. we've spayed 4 cats so far and found homes for 14 cats.
3. I nursed Honey and Nugget back to health more than a few times, both have severe tummy troubles.
4. I've lost 25lbs (give or take a lbs depending on the day). I did this through volleyball over the summer and honestly I think healthy happy relationships help me maintain a healthy weight.
5. I figured out a lot when it comes to my friends.... some good, some bad.
6. I kept my room mostly clean for most of the year, this one I'm very proud of... it's sort of been a reflection of my life. it's been less cluttered and stressful.
7. Kera and I have been trying to keep up with the blog... but it's hard haha. with some more organization I think 2015 will be a better year for it.
8. I worked a lot on my self confidence. I may not have a "job" but I opened my own freaking cat shelter. that's pretty awesome. I may not be a super model, but I worked hard and lost my extra weight and I think I look good.
9. I stopped shaving my pits. I have all sorts of pit problems and I think they might all be related to shaving.... so I'm done (even more credit to Jared for supporting me on this).
10. I built cat shelves for Honey which was the first thing I've built in a long time
so 2014 was pretty good year for me.... no where near perfect, but it's all in how you look at it. I'm looking forward to 2015 too :)
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